Bullying Prevention – Everyone’s Responsibility Webinar

[00:00:00] Rhonda Logsdon: Welcome everybody. We’re so thankful that y’all could join us today. Um, in- in honor of Bullying Prevention Month, we have teamed up with, um, the, uh, excuse me, PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, and with Fort Knox, uh, Exceptional Family Member Program, uh, to provide this webinar today for you, the Bullying Prevention, Everyone’s Responsibility.

[00:00:27] Um, we are, uh, first and foremost, we’re gonna hope for (laughs) no technology issues. So please let us know, uh, if you have any questions, you can use the chat or the questions and answers tab as well. So, uh, we’ll try to help you. We’ve got some wonderful people on here that can kind of help if you’re having any technical issues as we kind of go through the webinar.

[00:00:53] If you have any questions, please, uh, feel free to- to chime in. We want this to be [00:01:00] interactive, um, and we’ll, you know, (laughs) if we’re involved with it- it could have some technical issues. So several of us do not, um, have the strongest internet. And um, so if you’ll just give us some grace and also too, we’re working from home, so if you happen to hear a child or barking, just feel like you’re part of the family, okay?

[00:01:26] So I am tell you a little bit about, um, I’m Rhonda with Kentucky SPIN, and if you’re not familiar with this, it’s Kentucky’s Special Parent Involvement Network and we are the, um, Parent, uh, Training and Information Project for the state of Kentucky. Um, and we are sharing in the chat the link to this PowerPoint, um, that we will also send by email tomorrow along with the evaluation link. So if you don’t have a chance to download it, you can. [00:02:00] And there’s some great resources at the end that have links that you may find very helpful.

[00:02:06] Um, we are all family members, or persons with disabilities, or both, helping one another. Um, we have the great honor of partnering with, um, Fort Knox’s E F M P, the Exceptional Family Member Program. And- and so Marla Harris is on here with us and I just love them. (laughs) I love her and I love them. Any time that we could partner together, we love it. So, Marla, do you wanna tell us a little bit about y’all?

[00:02:35] Marla Harris: Sure. Um, my name is Marla Harris. I’m the E F M P Coordinator here at Army Community Service at Fort Knox, Kentucky.

[00:02:42] Um, what we do is we provide information, resources to our special needs military families. Um, the special needs could be medical, they could be developmental, mental health, um, it’s a whole gamut of reasons why a family could be enrolled in our program, um, not just for, [00:03:00] you know, one thing or another.

[00:03:01] Um, there’s too many diagnoses to, um, list (laughs) the reason for the enrollments. But, um, we try to help our families, um, with, um, any educational issues that they might be having on- with the on-post schools, um, any housing issues that they may have on the installation. Um, general information about, um, resources for their specific diagnosis.

[00:03:25] We also, uh, provide a support group. Um, we’re doing it weekly. Um, we call it our Coffee Crew. So, it’s kind of a new thing that we’re doing. So it’s kind of, uh, we’ve got a few people that are- have started to come, which is exciting. Um, we also provide some recreational activities. We had to stop those during COVID, but we are having those, um, activities to start up again.

[00:03:47] Um, we did some this summer and we’re also having a, um, Halloween party this year, so in a few weeks. So it’s gonna be a lot of fun. Um, but we’re always here to help our military families with any questions that they might have. We provide non-clinical [00:04:00] case management, those kinds of things. So if you know any military families that need our assistance, please send them our way.

[00:04:08] Rhonda Logsdon: Oh my gosh, I just love y’all. We may need to start coming to the coffee.

[00:04:11] Marla Harris: Mm-hmm. Oh, great.

[00:04:13] Rhonda Logsdon: I’ll bring my diet doctor- I’ll bring my diet Dr. Pepper. And y’all can have coffee, but there’s others on here I know would be right up the alley for the coffee.

[00:04:24] Marla Harris: I’m not a coffee drinker either, Rhonda. So don’t feel- (unintelligible)

[00:04:29] Rhonda Logsdon: It’s a, you know, um, my brother Grant, one of the things, um, and cuz he all- uh, co-presents a lot with me around the state. Uh, he’s a big coffee drinker, so he- he’ll be right there for the group, so. (laughs) Um, and actually our last before, so this is how you remember things or I- I find myself doing is, you had mentioned about the COVID is, you know, it’s either, was it pre-COVID or in the middle or hopefully we’re in- in the [00:05:00] stretch of getting through it, but the last in-person training, right before everything shut down, I was at Fort Knox. Grant and I were presenting on that Saturday, so.

[00:05:10] Marla Harris: right?

[00:05:11] Rhonda Logsdon: I was like that- I- I was thankful that that was one of my ones because I- we just enjoy ourselves so much and there’s such great programs for families, um.

[00:05:21] Marla Harris: right? And we love all the information that you guys have to offer to our families, it’s great.

[00:05:27] Rhonda Logsdon: Aww, well, and any way that we can partner, and when we- we’re looking at this, you know, just to see how we can help one another because we know bullying is a- is a huge issue.

[00:05:39] Um, and, you know, um, there are ways that we can all help no matter who you are. Um, and just to tell you a little bit about SPIN is that we do not act as attorneys. We don’t represent families. We are a peer support and help with resources and information. So I always kinda like to cover that, just so- [00:06:00] so you know, what sort of our role is and how we can help.

[00:06:04] So as we step through here, we’re gonna see, um, we have partnered, um, when, um, many, many, many years ago when PACER launched, it has become so big now and now that there is nationally recognized October as the National Bullying Prevention Month, is partner with PACER from the beginning to try to create awareness, but the resources, um, and- and access to different information, uh, for those who are experiencing bullying, but how we can all play a part in help.

[00:06:39] Um, we’re going to look at, um, I believe here on the next one is the sort of, well- well, before we get ready to do that, is that, um, one of the day’s, unity today, wearin’ orange. Um, and I love that it’s about the kindness, acceptance, and inclusion because [00:07:00] we know as individuals with disabilities and family members, um, that inclusion is so important. And many times individuals with disabilities or their siblings or, um, someone related to them in their immediate family can be bullied, just because of that disability even more.

[00:07:21] Um, and we know that from personal experience, many of us, um, as well as what other families and individuals have shared with us, you know, and- and a lot of times, um, we don’t realize how prevalent it is. You know, they get one in five kids. Um, and it, um, you know, every one of us can play a part because many times people seem to tend to think, “Well, if it’s- if it’s not the bully or the person being bullied, then what can I do?” Well, we can all make a difference. So we’re gonna talk about here coming up is maybe some of the things, [00:08:00] um, that we can do.

[00:08:02] And there are the different websites that you can access here for teens. The main, uh, these are all through PACE or the Teens Against Bullying, Kids Against Bullying. They have developed a lot of resources and many of ’em will be shared, the links at the end of this presentation, uh, that can really help and- and shows how we can all help. Um, and really looking at, um, is everyone having a voice and being included, um, through this.

[00:08:34] Now on the next, um, we are gonna kinda look at the dynamics of bullying, right? And what can parents do? And not just parents, but individuals. What can students do? What can the community do? And then we’re gonna talk about, you know, we’ll have some action steps there, but we can talk- we’re gonna talk about some things very specific for parents of children with disabilities.

[00:08:59] Um, [00:09:00] because there are some laws in place, especially if it’s the bullying, could be the discrimination based upon their- the bullying is- is due to the disability. So there are some other things that we’ll cover there. And of course, the resources that you can access and link to, to help.

[00:09:21] Um, everybody just kind of chime in and let us know where you’re joining, how your day’s been, and where you’re joining, uh, from today.

[00:09:30] Um, so we’re gonna really define bullying, common views about it, who bullies, and who is targeted by bullying. Now, when we think of bullying, um, we think of here on the next slide we’re gonna see here. Um, the thing I think is so important- Oh, we got Pikeville joining us. I hope y’all are doing good down there and staying safe and that everybody’s doing good.

[00:09:59] [00:10:00] Um, and- and we, um, wanna look at, because the- the critical thing here is for children to know that if the behavior hurts or harms them, now this is the important part. If it hurts or harms them, not that we see, uh, if we think it would hurt them, right? Cause everybody’s different, um, is if they feel that if there is an emotional or physical, um, harm that they’re experiencing. And that’s not just, um, you know, a lot of times, uh, we may think of bullying as just physical, right? But it’s not. Um, and really, quite frankly, um, that sometimes the- the emotional part of it- it doesn’t go away. Um, and it will always stay with you. And it- if- if they’re having a hard time defending themselves, it’s bullying.

[00:10:57] Now, what you may view as bullying, [00:11:00] they may not. Well, we got Davis County joining us too. Welcome. The critical thing to keep in mind here is if it hurts or harms them. Um, and that’s what’s really important, um, and really looking at, we’re gonna look at here next, on here, um, sort of bullying versus conflict, right? So, um, sometimes it is very helpful to figure out, well, is it just conflict between children?

[00:11:28] And- and- and you all know too, as adults, there are many adults that bully. Um, so think of it this way. It- if you’re trying to differentiate if it’s bullying or conflict, when it’s conflict, is it more balanced? Um, and is there sort of self-monitoring of your behavior, right? And generally stops if you feel and- and realize that you’re hurting someone, right?

[00:11:55] Now when it’s bullying, it is the con- you continue the [00:12:00] behavior when you realize it’s hurting someone, you get, you know, a satisfying feeling of power or control, right? So, and a lot of times, I know it may be very hard to understand, is like, well, how can someone be getting something from this? Anyone who bullies, they’re getting something.

[00:12:21] Now, it’s not in a positive way, right? It’s not what we want, but there is something that they’re gaining from it. So we’ve gotta figure out what it is. Um, and many times you see that- that when they’re- the bullying occurs, it’s because they’re trying to make up for something else. Um, not that that makes it right or anything, but, um, really differentiate and if it’s conflict or bullying is going to help a lot.

[00:12:49] Um, now when we look at here next, um, it- the impacts, I mean, three huge impacts. Education, you know, if the bullying is [00:13:00] at school or associated with school, is, you know, if you’re being bullied, you know, children who are bullied do not wanna go to school. Um, and it’s- even if you do go to school, there’s always that fear.

[00:13:14] You’re not able to- to really learn. Um, because you, I mean, and this isn’t a tech- technical term, but you’re emotionally tore up, right? So- so even if you are physically present there, um, and you know, it can greatly affect your education or participation, whether it’s in school or anything that you do.

[00:13:38] Think of it this way, too. If you’ve ever had as an adult someone bully you in the workforce, um, it makes it very hard for you to do your job.

[00:13:47] Um, health, it physically can affect you and emotionally. Um, my, um, my twin sister, um, well my twin sister and I both had- had [00:14:00] experienced different bullying and stuff, and my brother Grant had, too.

[00:14:03] But, you know, Grant and I often share many times, um, that even though we were, um, it- it affects us much more. My twin sister Robin, who had a severe learning disability as an adult was diagnosed bipolar. She’s our special angel in heaven now. Um, she, um, experienced- it never left her even as an adult. Um, it- it really affected her so bad.

[00:14:34] Um, and again, every child’s different. And not that it didn’t affect Grant and I bad, um, but I can tell you that that was one of- of the things that repeatedly, um, she had a very hard time dealing with.

[00:14:52] And safety harm to yourself or others. Um, you know, it- it- and one of the things that I think is so [00:15:00] important, and when we’re talking about the bullying prevention, not just for who is bullied, but who is doing the bullying, we’ve got to get the services or supports or get it addressed, right?

[00:15:11] We don’t wanna be reactive because the thing is- is, um, we don’t want anyone to feel like they just need it to stop and that they don’t have a way to get it to stop. And so when we work together, and again, when we talk about this, if- if anyone, because if you’ve been through different things, it could be emotionally, um, it could, you know, be traumatizing to talk through.

[00:15:37] So please keep in mind step away if you need to as we talk about this, cuz I know it can be very difficult at time, uh, times. And- and we want to be very conscious of that.

[00:15:50] Um, when we look here on the next slide we’re gonna see the different types of bullying, right? Is verbal, using words often quick and [00:16:00] direct.

[00:16:01] Um, physical, kicking, hitting, it’s- it’s easy sort of to recognize, right? The emotional and the social may not be as easy to- to recognize or for others to see. Um, but it is- it is very detrimental, um, to anyone who’s experienced it.

[00:16:20] Sexual, um, is, you know, a violation of- of someone’s personal boundaries. Students are often reluctant to talk about it. Not just is it bullying, but when it crosses the line, you know, in the physical and the sexual too is that it could involve, um, needing to have police involved in charges.

[00:16:40] So, um, and with cyber bullying, you know, it used to, when we were younger, like, I can’t imagine, um, and I’m quite a bit older (laughs) so this was before, uh, the internet and- and the cyber bullying and all of that is, um, I know how hard it was [00:17:00] then. I can’t imagine now. And being a mom of a- of a 17 year old, um, it is something that is always at the forefront, um, of my mind.

[00:17:10] You know, all of the different avenues that maybe that you could experience it and that it could- that it could occur, um, makes it very hard. Um, and- and many times you may find multiple of these, it may be verbal, (clears throat) excuse me, in person at school, but then they carry it on to cyber as well. So it could be a mixture of these different things.

[00:17:36] And many times, um, what I always find on this is, when someone bullies, they’re very smart. They’re very smart. Um, because most of the time other people don’t see it, right? Um, and um, we- if y’all remember back, I don’t know, it’s been [00:18:00] several years back, there was a video that went viral about, um, a boy who just sort of went off.

[00:18:11] Well, everybody was calling this boy a bully. No one had the true picture. He actually was the child that was being bullied and he had- he just broke. He could not take it anymore. So what everyone else saw was the video that went viral of him lashing back out to defend hisself, right? And there’s different ways we’re gonna talk about here, you know, about working with our children and with one another on ways to handle, um, but sometimes, um, because if you experience the bullying, you can only take so much, right?

[00:18:54] And so sometimes the one, and typically the one that gets caught is the one trying to [00:19:00] stop it, right? And so as we kinda step through here, there’ll be some things that we kind of discuss. Um, but it is, um, it’s very important to keep in mind.

[00:19:10] Um, and a lot of people, you know, I- I think back of, even as an adult, some of- of- of the- the people who have, um, maybe bullied more so, uh, emotionally, boy they are master manipulators, right? Like no one else can tell it at all, but, you know, and if they are doing it to you, um, and it- it is again very calculated.

[00:19:38] So we’re gonna look here, um, and we’re gonna play a video here, just a short video. And Amber is helping me with everything cuz y’all did not wanna rely on my internet today. Um, he’s gonna talk about here the cyber bullying.

[00:19:55] Kevin Jennings: The phenomenon of electronic aggression or cyber bullying as it tends to get [00:20:00] called, is something that’s really terrifying to a lot of kids and a lot of parents, because as awful as in-school bullying is, a kid can at least know that when they go home, the bullying will stop. With electronic aggression, the bullying never stops. It happens 24 7.

[00:20:14] So a lot of parents are wondering what they can do about it, and the fact is, you can’t make the technology go away. So what we have to do is teach young people responsible use. Something happens when kids get behind a computer sc- screen when they engage in behaviors that they would never engage in face-to-face.

[00:20:32] What we need to help them understand is the impact of those behaviors, which is just as negative when it happens online as when it happens face-to-face. The fact of the matter is most kids think what happens online, stays online, sort of like what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but they don’t understand that that isn’t the case.

[00:20:51] So teaching your kid responsible use is critical. Knowing where your kid is is critical. Does your kid have a Facebook or MySpace [00:21:00] profile? The fact is, we would never let our kids run around on the weekends and have no idea where they are. Why do we let them run around online and have no idea where they are?

[00:21:09] And finally, for a lot of parents, they’re really afraid because they don’t understand the technology as well as their kids. Well, guess what? You’re never gonna understand the technology as good as your kids because they’ve grown up with it. That should not be a problem. The real issue here is not technology.

[00:21:25] It is communication. And if you have a good relationship with your kids and you could talk to them about appropriate versus inappropriate behavior, you can easily translate that to appropriate versus inappropriate online behavior.

[00:21:38] So don’t worry if you don’t know how to set privacy controls on Facebook. Lord knows I don’t, but I know how to talk to kids. If you know how to do that, you’re gonna be okay.

[00:21:51] Rhonda Logsdon: Did y’all appreciate the, uh, reference to MySpace? The kids probably wouldn’t know right now if you said MySpace to ’em, what that was. (laughs) [00:22:00] So, but- but he’s very right? And when we are looking at, um, it, when we are looking at it, really helping them, because I don’t know about you all, but- but when I years back went through this, the train the trainers and- and we started, you know, PACER, had launched the bullying thing.

[00:22:21] Um, you know, one of the things that was said in that is don’t punish the child. And- and if bullying’s occurring, um, and they’re being bullied, my first instinct, right, as a parent would be like, I’ve gotta get ’em off of there, right? Because I’ve got to eliminate. And they’re like, no, because you’re punishing the child that is going to- that is being bullied and they didn’t do anything wrong.

[00:22:47] And I’m like, “Oh, I did not think of it like that”, right? I go into Mama Mode and I’m thinking, I- we’ve gotta stop this. You know? So it’s not about, and I think that’s where too, [00:23:00] our young people help us in working through this and that peer support that they bring one another, um, can really help a lot. Um, and is anyone else like that- that would’ve been your first, uh, instinct is like, “No, you can’t be on that.”

[00:23:17] Um, you know, again, if it’s a child bullying, then I would set up, you know, and that’s that communication too, that there are the expectations that this occurs then, um, and if you do this or that- that you would not be able to use that, right? So, um, but does- would anybody else have been like my first instinct, like, no, we got to- I’ve gotta eliminate where the bullying is coming from, right?

[00:23:44] Trying to protect our children, but we don’t want to do that. And then it be as if they’re being punished and they didn’t do anything wrong, right? But any way that we can help to advocate, um, and there’s so many things [00:24:00] that are electronic that- that children, that they love to do and to be on. Um, and you know, just having sort of set those things and have those conversations, um, with them so that they feel comfortable, a lot of times they may not say nothing.

[00:24:19] Um, and, you know, that’s where then it- especially teens, you know, they- they don’t want, you know, um, to tell anybody or talk to anybody about it. But part of it is that communication and getting them to talk about it that I think is so important.

[00:24:40] The common views, you know, that, you know, bullying is a natural part of childhood, just makes you tough, right? Um, that it’ll never hurt you. Um, and, you know, some people deserve to be bullied.

[00:24:54] Well, that’s not true. And these are, you know, that, um, it’s gonna be tattling, it’s [00:25:00] only teasing, it’s really nothing. But those are the myths about it. Because again, if we go back to what we first had talked about, if it- if it hurts you and is harmful to you, then it- then it is.

[00:25:16] Um, and really looking at, you know, because everybody is different in their views that they see on it. And I think part of bullying prevention and recognizing it is that getting everyone to understand you may not have felt like it was bullying to you, but it may feel like bullying to me. Um, and there is importance in that. Um, and how then we work together.

[00:25:44] Um, you know, um, has any of you all ever heard, you know, well that’s just the- the good old boy- boys club. That’s how- that’s how they, you know, just, um, show, um, and a lot of it, a lot [00:26:00] of times, you know, if they’re just sort of people can be very mean. You know, again, we think of is it that imbalance, right?

[00:26:09] Is it- is it conflict between two or is it more of an imbalance, um, to where it’s sort of power and strength being shown over someone else? Um, and again, that’s gonna be a critical part as we talk about this on the next slide.

[00:26:29] Who bullies and why. Well, anyone. Um, it- it’s a myth that it’s only, you know, a lot of times everybody, um, what’s the first, when I say bullying and if- (coughs) what’s the first thought or the image that comes into your mind? Of who would bully or, um, you [00:27:00] know.

[00:27:00] Amber Hamm: It takes me right back, Rhonda, to school where you have the cliques and those cliques like to bully.

[00:27:14] Rhonda Logsdon: Yes. And I love this, Josie. Thank you. Yes. Big, angry, mean kid, right? You think, uh, and you know what? Many times it may not be the big- the big kid, the big angry kid. You know what I’m saying? That, um, so really it- it is anybody, any size, any age, any gender, um, and you know, there’s just that common element to their behavior, right? That it’s trying- that they’re getting something from it, that they’re trying to show their power. Um, they- they want to control things.

[00:27:56] The bigger kids in a Christmas store, yes, Melanie. [00:28:00] Yes, yes, oh, the- and the cliques. Yes, it is a lot of times.

[00:28:05] Um, but you’ll also find that yes, it is the cliques, but sometimes it is the person who may not have a lot of times any- any friends. Um, and, you know, this is the only way that they can have control. Um, and not that that makes it right to do the bullying, but, um, many people who bully have been bullied, and that example has been set for them, and that’s the only way they can control things. They couldn’t control what was happening to them, so they may bully as well.

[00:28:46] Here on the next one we’re gonna see here, um, that, um, you know who’s targeted by it? Well, there’s no typical profile. Anyone can, but there are some common characteristics. [00:29:00] Anybody that others view as different, right?

[00:29:04] Which I think that’s what makes us all wonderful. (laughs) You know, because I love that we’re all different. And again, what is, um, you know, a lot of times, um, it could be because you are overweight or you’re smaller. Um, it could be because of your disability, race, you know, there are so many ways that you could be bullied or reasons. There may be some characteristics, um, but there’s not gonna always be a typical profile that you see.

[00:29:39] But we do know that there are, and especially within minority groups, that you stand a higher chance of being bullied.

[00:29:49] Here on the next one, one of the things too is, um, you know, the dual role, both the target and the bully. Like the, again, the reactive bullying. [00:30:00]

[00:30:00] You know, when I said that many times someone who’s bullied may also bully in response, uh, reactive or you’ve had enough so you just, you know, you just kind of snap.

[00:30:13] Um, or, you know, one of the things too is, um, and I think a lot of times this happens, like, um, and when we’re looking at cyber bullying too, if you feel you have no control other ways. And just like the gentleman had said, sometimes you’ll say stuff, uh, you know, cyber, email, instant message, any of those type things that you never would otherwise, because that’s the only way that you may feel that you could use your voice or that you could get at someone, right? Because again, you’re getting something from it, you know, it’s not a positive thing, you’re getting something from it.

[00:30:54] And so we really have to address and look at that, um, and really learn the [00:31:00] ways to handle that better. And again, sometimes, um, when we look at this, you know, the response to what has been done and the example set many times, um, but keep in mind too, if a- if a child or someone bullies, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been bullied.

[00:31:24] So there’s really, you know, again, uh, we live in a world where we would love- it’s almost like talk when we talk about I E Ps um, the Individual Education Programs, is that, I wish that there were nice quick one answer solves this. Um, but every situation is unique, um, in that there is no, if you do all of this, then this won’t occur, right?

[00:31:52] Um, because everything is situational in the environment and everybody is different. Um, so when we look at the [00:32:00] next thing here, um, we’re going to see there are different things and we’re gonna step through this. There’s action steps. Um, and we’re gonna kind of go over the laws that are in place, um, and the record keeping and the, uh, there’s a template letter cuz I love examples that PACER developed.

[00:32:19] And these are things as a parent that we can help, um, our children in really action steps, um, to help them if they’re being bullied or if they are the bully themselves.

[00:32:34] So when we look at, um, and I actually make sure that every time we do this, I always update. You’ll see here on the next slide, I always update right before, in case any, uh, since the last time we had done the presentation, in case any of the specific Kentucky laws had changed. You’ll be able, when you click on the PDF version, you can click right [00:33:00] there and it takes you to all of this that’s on the next few slides and keep up to date of any changes in Kentucky laws.

[00:33:07] You can actually access that, um, all the states, which you saw the map there. But of course, we’re just gonna talk about the Kentucky specific. They have a chart sort of, then they do this for each state that sort of shows the anti-bullying laws and policies, um, that have been set forth and that are required, you know, at the state level.

[00:33:30] Um, so again, it goes through that there’s a prohibiting statement, um, that’s included in the laws. They define it. There’s a scope, it does not list of protected groups, right? It doesn’t give samples of protected groups, which it is very hard. Some states have that. I guess my biased hope is that we do, at some point Kentucky gets that listed because we do know [00:34:00] that certain groups are targeted and experience bullying so much more.

[00:34:05] Um, but there does have to be district policy set in place, reporting and investigation. There has to be consequences, safeguards. Um, one of the things too that, (clears throatq) excuse me, I’m sorry. My allergies are a hot mess, y’all.

[00:34:24] Um, there are some things as we step through, um, this is sort of the overall chart, but we’re gonna go into detail here just a minute.

[00:34:31] The next slide is, you’re gonna see where you can link to the very specific laws in the Kentucky, um, administrative regulations where you can click directly to those. And I thought it was important that I wanted to make sure that you all had those.

[00:34:48] On the next one, we’re gonna step through some of the, uh, commonly asked questions.

[00:34:52] How is bullying and cyber bullying defined in Kentucky, in Kentucky law and regulations? [00:35:00] And again, it goes back to kind of what we talked about before, is the bullying means any unwanted verbal, physical, or social behavior among students that involves a real or perceived, I think that’s important, perceived power of the imbalance and is repeated or has the potential to be repeated.

[00:35:20] Um, many times, um, and I think it’s important that it says that because right, if it occurs, we don’t wanna give it an opportunity to occur again. Right? Um, but it could be the behavior. They could-

[00:35:40] I’m sorry, I had to get a drink. Um, and it disrupts their education process. Um, and when we look at this, um, this part because there have been some updates since this all started, you know, years back. And like I said, every time I go to pull stuff [00:36:00] to get the most updated, this second one here actually changed over the years.

[00:36:06] It used to be that Kentucky’s anti-bullying laws and regulations did not cover, um, cyber bullying that occurs off campus. It now does. And, um, it would- it would be considered harassing communication. So that’s- that’s huge because we know that, again, it doesn’t- it’s not anymore on the- just on the bathroom walls at school, right?

[00:36:33] It follows us home. It’s everywhere we go. Um, and so I think that is very important for Kentucky, that that is there.

[00:36:43] Now on the next one is that, you know, the requirements of the schools to prevent and respond to bullying behavior. So each district has to put very, uh, specific, um, language in [00:37:00] place, um, of what is acceptable behavior, and discipline that would prevent bullying, their code of conduct.

[00:37:08] And it would be, um, it- the- in the state regulation, it requires them to have those things in place. Now, you may see it look a little different depending upon your district’s discipline and behavior policies and procedures, but every one of ’em has to have these things in there, um, you know, of- of what would occur, um, in how that, the procedures that they’re gonna for it to be investigated and respond to it. Right?

[00:37:39] The complaints, because we, again, we don’t want, um, in- in strategies or methods for protecting students from retaliation, from reporting it as well. It’s really important, um, to know, especially if bully is occurring. The first thing I [00:38:00] wanna know is what is the district policies and procedures for behavior? The codes of conduct for the district’s say, it would be very helpful to know.

[00:38:09] On the next one here, you’ll see that, um, again, it doesn’t include for specifics group- groups under Kentucky, anti-bullying laws or regulations. But keep in mind if they- you receive federal funding in all Kentucky public- public school districts too, um, is there are- it could be a civil rights violation because if they’re being bullied because of their disability, that would have to do with the civil rights. Um, that would also help there.

[00:38:48] Um, hopefully again, all of these things, you will not need those, but know that these things are in place. Um, to where, um, and those protections [00:39:00] for students, again, here, does it require districts to- to implement a bullying prevention program or strategies? No. But then down here it does encourage or require districts, um, to train teachers and other school staff how to respond.

[00:39:21] Um, so- so I- I’m grateful that that is in there. Um, you know, but we know too, and a lot, if- if any of you all heard of or been a part of, you know, the Positive Behavior Intervention System, P B I S, which it could be a schoolwide, that’s a very, um, a very good program. It’s not just about bullying, but it’s the Positive Behavior Intervention Supports and Services.

[00:39:49] Um, that is a very proactive, um, thing that- that schools may do for everybody. And- and it would be sort of a schoolwide, [00:40:00] um, atmosphere and culture that you would have and that actually, um, fosters less bullying or bullying potential.

[00:40:10] Um, again, you know, we can’t- we wish we could control everything, right? But we can’t. Um, but that is a proactive way to help foster that so that it- it could help to eliminate, uh, possible other bullying occurring.

[00:40:28] Now on the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, that when we look at this, um, it doesn’t, um, we- we don’t, uh, require the districts to provide the safeguards or mental health supports for students involved in bullying.

[00:40:48] But I will, it- it’s not required under law. But I will tell you, there have been many, many things put into place, especially related to mental health within the schools [00:41:00] that has been so wonderful and beneficial, and especially with all of us living through the pandemic, too.

[00:41:08] Um, so they’re not required to do it. Um, but you will find within many of the schools, um, that that would be something that you could access and especially if your child has been bullied and there are some mental health, uh, concerns regarding that, that would be something that I would request and we’ll talk here in a minute, especially for children with I E Ps. There may be some very specific, um, suggestions of how you could access that as well.

[00:41:38] Um, in it, when we look at the laws and regulations, it involves appearance in the efforts to address the bullying behavior. Yes, it requires the school districts to report the incident to the parents. Um, now there had been situations to where it’s not been, um, and that, you [00:42:00] know, there- it should be reported to you if your child is bullied or if your child is- is bullying others.

[00:42:08] Um, there’s some things, and we’re gonna go through the template there, that’ll help, especially if bullying has occurred. And we don’t know if the child has- has told anyone at school or not. There are specific, um, templates that you can use to notify the school of bullying. Um, and there is some more information that you could access there specific for Kentucky. Um, and you’ll have all of those links there in the PowerPoint handout.

[00:42:37] On the next slide here, we’re gonna look at the record keeping, right? Written information about it. It’s very important, um, to keep a log, right? The date, the time, who was involved, the account of the event. Um, just like we, um, work and we keep, you know, from our, uh, I E P meetings that- or 5 [00:43:00] 0 4 meetings that we attend for our children, you know, or phone conversations or emails that we send.

[00:43:05] It’s a very important part of the record keeping and advocating for our children and sort of working to make sure too that we are notifying them. Um, and- and a lot of it too, sometimes when kids speak up and they tell someone, they may not get the help that they need. Um, and so we’ve gotta make sure then too, that- and a lot of times it’s very hard for a child to tell someone, and if they haven’t got the help when they tell someone, they’re less likely that they’re gonna share it with someone else.

[00:43:42] Um, so it’s- it’s- it’s very hard. Um, or it’s very important to make sure that any time that- that they have shared that, that we create that comfort where they can talk with one another. I know too, you know, as a mom, [00:44:00] I- I want my child to feel like they could come to me about anything.

[00:44:03] Um, and, but there are some, um, one thing that my brother Grant is, um, he’s like the best uncle ever. He, um, and all with, you know, my sky and grow- with Sky growing up and everything, I don’t care who the important person is. There are things that he talks to his uncle about that he may not talk to me about. Right? It’s having that important person in a child’s life that they feel comfortable sharing those things with.

[00:44:34] That’s what’s the key here, and especially when bullying occurs, um, is having that person that they could speak with and having that within the school that they have that comfort with. Um, and it- it may be that they don’t have that, but then they share it with us and then we can let the school know as well. Or if they’ve tried to address it and they haven’t been able to get help with that.[00:45:00]

[00:45:00] Now when we look here on the next one, we’re gonna see the template, and again, you’ll have links to this. It’s sort of a fill in the blank of these are spaces. Um, this is what’s occurred, very specific. Um, and, you know, you can do it in writing, you know, letter form, is it- it is- you can do it verbally, but it’s always recommended to put it in writing.

[00:45:28] You can write it out, like print out the form and hand it in. But these days, and with email, they immediately get it. You can use this template and use that as your template for your email, right? Fill in those areas, um, and send the email. They get it automatically. Um, and this way too, that that is part of your record keeping and trying to- to work to get that resolved.

[00:45:56] Now when we look here on the next, um, the [00:46:00] next slide is, you know, a lot, and again, this was in 2010, um, 64% of children who were bullied didn’t report it. Um, and I almost fear the way things are now. And because of everything that we’ve all lived through with the pandemic and- and everything, and we’re all, I feel like we’re all like emotionally, and maybe I shouldn’t speak for everyone else, but we’re all emotionally drained and at our limits, right?

[00:46:32] Just, um I think as adults, I think our children are no different. Um, and I almost feel like that probably would be a lot higher now. Um, but they’re afraid, no- that someone will listen, that someone won’t believe ’em. Um, people may not be supportive. It may be that old myth of, well, that’s just boys being boys.

[00:46:53] Um, or, you know, that’s just, um, you know, taddling or they’re- they’re afraid of [00:47:00] that they’re gonna make it worse. Right? If I say something, um, that they’re afraid to provide the information. We’ve had some children who don’t want to tell because they don’t wanna get the person in trouble. Like their worry is the other person, but there is no reason for them to- to not- and that’s when working with, uh, one another and helping one another that we empower.

[00:47:29] And that’s why it’s not just the bully and it’s not just, um, the person being bullied. It’s everybody playing a part. Um, because we all can make a difference. And- and sometimes, a lot of times, I don’t know if y’all are like me, but being a mom and- and- and being around children, you know, a lot and growing up and stuff, but, um, is that, most of the time, they’re not gonna talk to you when you ask, “How was this?” Right?

[00:47:58] They’re gonna share those things [00:48:00] with you when you least expect it, and it will come out of nowhere. It may not be right when it happens, but they share it. But how we react to that really is gonna set the stage for building that relationship and- and so that they do have that comfort to share.

[00:48:19] Um, and- and they’re afraid that, you know, they don’t know what could be done. Um, because, um, in- in their mind and as they’re living through it, they’re- nothing will stop it, right? They may have tried different things themselves, um, but it- it hasn’t worked.

[00:48:39] Has anyone else ever felt, um, or know of people who have felt that way? What- what would you say, um, outside of the reasons listed here, what would be a reason that- that they don’t report it?[00:49:00]

[00:49:10] Amber Hamm: I would just throw this out there that a lot of adults tend to say to children that their perception is off. And the kids then question themselves.

[00:49:26] Rhonda Logsdon: Absolutely. And I’m so glad you brought that up because that is, uh, one of the things too that you know, or will be like, “Oh, you may have misunderstood.” Oh, and um, maybe they might be afraid they would be blamed for the cause or brought it on themselves. Exactly.

[00:49:48] Exactly. Because when you’re in that, the fear of the ridicule from peers. Absolutely. Absolutely. Those are huge because, um, [00:50:00] when you’re being bullied and that power is being used over you, it may not be rational thoughts, but you start believing what people say. Right? You start believing and you think, “Okay, well this is just how my life’s gonna be.”

[00:50:17] Um, and you really don’t see, um, you know, I- I think back now being older, I wish I was the size that I thought I was, uh, when I thought I was huge. Right? Because I would be made, um, because with being a twin, I was always made fun of because, you know, okay- because I was the big one, right? And so, um, and- and when we moved from the country, um, it, oh ya’ll, it was horrible.

[00:50:53] When we moved from the country to the city and it went to the school. I mean, all of these [00:51:00] boys started starting fights with us. And this was like in middle school. Like, it was like ridiculous. And- but they would make fun of because we, you know, that they would say that- that- that we were stupid, that we were, you know, from the country. We didn’t know anything.

[00:51:20] Um, and then they would pick at- at Robin’s disability, at Grant’s physical disability, and it would just be, you know, and my weight and different stuff. And it was like this constant combination of stuff that you just can’t see any end it and that no one can help you.

[00:51:39] Um, and a lot of times too, and like you all had said earlier, that it’s people playing into it, sort of that the clique, right? It’s others, so this is where, exactly like you’re saying here, ridicule from the peers, is that also other peers playing a role in it. I’ve had this happen to me as an adult, [00:52:00] um, many times in different situations where one person is having an imb- there’s an imbalance where one person is sort of demeaning to you, the others jump on board and then it becomes like an acceptable thing.

[00:52:19] And it almost makes you question like, am I just- am- am I just too sensitive or am I seeing this the way it’s actually occurring? Right? It causes you to question things and depending upon, you know, like Amber had said, when you tell someone, what did they say? Oh, well you must, you know, you must have misunderstood. Or is that really what you know? Alright, did you see that exactly right?

[00:52:43] So- so many times we- we are trying to think the best of others, but we need to take it as our children give it. And again, go back to the important part of how did it make them feel? Not how we would’ve viewed it, [00:53:00] how we view it from our angle, but how did it make them feel?

[00:53:06] Here on the next slide, um, we’re gonna kind of talk about, um, some things, you know, fear of overreaction, feeling that they’re being judged, um, you know, feeling ashamed, responsible, think it does no good, and that they wouldn’t be protected. That it’s not, you know, a macho thing to do. Um, that- that adults just don’t care.

[00:53:30] You know, many times, and there have been some situations to where the adults to children are bullying, and when a child then bullies them back, then that’s where the problem occurs. Not that the- they should have handled it that way, but it was that reactive bullying.

[00:53:50] You know, I think it- of it this way, too. There are many adults that bully children and it’s an acceptable thing. [00:54:00] Um, and- and we wonder why. And it’s not necessarily always in- it’s in those ways, right? That, um, many times I see it in those ways of that it is that manipulation. Where others may not know what you’re saying, but you know what- you know what they’re doing and they’re specifically targeting you for it when it was no one else that was sitting there.

[00:54:26] So there are different things like that that occur. And so we gotta think if that’s what’s occurring for our children, they may be experiencing the bullying other students, they may have a fear of telling anyone because again, they don’t think that that they’ll do anything. It doesn’t do any good. And they may also be being bullied by the- the adults that are in their life as well.

[00:54:50] So there are a lot of things that do play a role. Again, every situation is different. That’s not what happens with everybody. But again, that’s where [00:55:00] being very specific, um, and really knowing what’s going on and how to help. Um, but again, valuing what- what the child builds and- and what’s occurring and- and listening.

[00:55:15] You know, I always wanna solve everything, right? I think that’s what I- what I’m good at, right? But sometimes that’s not exactly what they’re wanting right now.

[00:55:24] First, they’re probably wanting someone to understand and listen to ’em, but we can’t go right into fix it mode. Not that we’re not gonna help to try to get it to where we help them, but we can’t go and skip the step of hearing them and the importance of that and them sharing that.

[00:55:43] Does that make sense?

[00:55:46] On the next one, and again, I overanalyze everything, so, um, (laughs) when, you know, reactions to avoid, again, how many of you all grew up and heard this? [00:56:00] Is that I- I always- always taught when I was- l, you know, growing up I was little. You don’t ever start a fight, but you better finish it. Was anybody else ever told that?

[00:56:12] And not that they, um, were, um, not that- that- that may sound very harsh to other people that may not have heard that, but that was one of the things in like the belief of standing up for yourself, right? Um, and it wasn’t that when I was told that they were trying to be cruel to me, right? But we can’t tell our children to stand up to the bully because that could cause even more issues.

[00:56:45] “Yes. My grandmother had that mentality that you needed to take up for yourself to make the bullying stop.”

[00:56:51] Yes. Yep. That is like an unwritten rule, right? And I do think that there are aspects that is [00:57:00] helpful to that, right? So it is trying to find yourself and- and- and- and knowing your importance and, um, standing up for yourself and- and what’s right, right?

[00:57:11] But we can’t, if they are being bullied and targeted, we can’t expect them just to stand up and that to work, right? Because the person bullying knows that they have hit that nerve, right? And that they are targeting them for whatever reason it is. And it’s already imbalanced. So them standing up to is not going to help things get better.

[00:57:38] Telling your children to ignore it or avoid the bully, right? Will- so here’s the thing is that okay is, you know, cuz that would be my first thing is, okay, well how can you not be around them, right? Just like the- if there’s the cyberbullying going on, if there’s social media, my first instinct would’ve been to [00:58:00] completely, “No, you can’t use that app”, or “You can’t be on that”, right?

[00:58:03] Well, that- that’s not gonna help things and that’s punishing them, right? You don’t wanna keep them from things that they should be able to do because it’s not their fault if they’re being bullied. Um, and ignoring it doesn’t help it get any better, right? They’re gonna- (crosstalk)

[00:58:18] Amber Hamm: Rhonda, can I throw something in?

[00:58:20] Rhonda Logsdon: Please.

[00:58:21] Amber Hamm: So, you know, thinking about my own son, um, and his, you know, disability, he has autism. And when it comes to bullying, I think as parents too, we need to be very aware of the realities, too. Um, you know, when some of these old sayings that did go around to stand up to the bully, and you have to be very cautious when having conversations with children, uh, who have disabilities because it may, you know, not that I’m saying this happens in all school systems, but potentially [00:59:00] come back to that child because- simply because they have that disability.

[00:59:05] So being just very cautious, too.

[00:59:09] Rhonda Logsdon: Right, and many, many of the times, um, the children- remember when I said earlier that, okay, people who bully are very smart, right? Is, um, and, um, typically who’s not caught is the one that’s bullying. But if they take it in their own hands and stand up, who- remember the example of that- the viral video of the child, that it finally had enough and everybody thought that that child was, and they were just trying to stop it and take it into their own hands because they could not take anymore.

[00:59:47] And that child had, I remember reading, had been numerous times. I mean, this had gone on for a while. No one had stepped in, no one had helped, and the child had just had enough. [01:00:00] And, you know, we’re human. I can only take so much, right? Um, and so these are things to- to sort of avoid when we’re talking with our children.

[01:00:11] Now, on the next one, uh, (coughs) excuse me. You know, helping them to realize when it is the bullying and having the conversations. Do you think the other student hurt you on purpose? Um, was it done more than once? How did it make you feel? Again, going back, that’s gonna be a key thing there. Did it make you feel unsafe?

[01:00:38] Um, is the other student stronger, more powerful in some way? And that doesn’t just mean muscle, right? Um, that, you know, the- there is strength and power. Is it physically, is it socially? Again, that goes back to the clique, you know, uh, a whole variety of different things.

[01:00:58] One thing too, um, [01:01:00] that I think when we look at this, um, and, um, for some of our children who have disabilities, they may be nonverbal, so it is very hard to tell if bullying has occurred. If they don’t have a means of communication, even if it isn’t in words that they could share it- it- but if you see the, um, if there is a scared aspect, if- if- if their mood changes drastically, um, when they’re going to go do this thing, you know, looking for those sort of emotional signs that you can visually see, um, is, are they very anxious?

[01:01:44] Um, really looking at that for our children because sometimes they’re not able to answer the questions, but there may be ways that you could tell, um, um, sort of, you know, with [01:02:00] the behavior that they have. Um, and again, on the next one here, we’re gonna look at, um, you know, looking at the self-advocacy that- that- that you’re not alone and that peer support is so critical.

[01:02:15] Um, and it’s not up to you to stop the bullying. Um, but that they- we’re all in this together. Um, and that it happens to a lot. It’s not because, you know, sometimes you may feel, well, I, you know, when they made fun of us a lot cuz we were from the country and stuff like that, it’s like, okay, I knew I wasn’t stupid, right?

[01:02:39] But after being repeatedly made fun of over that it- it sort of helps, and especially too with the dis- disability, if people, you know, cuz you only know what you’re experiencing, right? You may not know that other people who have disabilities are experiencing it if you don’t see it.

[01:02:59] [01:03:00] So understanding that aspect of it- it’s not just you and that it’s not that there’s something wrong with you.

[01:03:07] Everyone deserves respect. Um, and building those self-advocacy skills, not only for our children who have been bullied, um, or the bully, having the appropriate self-advocacy because, you know, that’s where it could really go wrong if it is that negative and that power that you’re wanting to put over someone.

[01:03:31] Um, self- strong, positive self-advocacy skills is also gonna help with, you know, the bystanders, right? So a lot of times, you know, most people just think, again, the bully and the one being bullied, but the bystanders, other students, other adults, every one of us can play a role in- in what is acceptable or what’s not.

[01:03:55] We’re gonna look at here on the next one, um, one [01:04:00] thing, you know, the right to be safe. Having them know that they have the right to not be treated like this and to expect the adults to keep you safe. Um, and really, um, the right, you know, when they are bullied what to do, right? So we may have to help figure out what those things are if it hasn’t been explained previously, um, what those means are so that we get it to where it doesn’t occur anymore.

[01:04:32] On the next slide here, you know, response strategies, um, report the situation. Again, we hope that they will- that they will share it with someone else, um, and sort of response like, move away from the situation, like right when you’re in the thick of it, if there’s a way to physically move away from the situation, that can sort of help [01:05:00] to deescalate it.

[01:05:02] Um, and- and when you’re working with the school and going through the- the school policies and guidelines, what is set forth, um, you know, and- and what are the procedures and making sure everybody understands those to where, if it occurred, then what should take place now so that we can help everybody involved.

[01:05:24] Now when we look at the next, um, thing here, there’s a- a student action plan that kids, um, can develop and you’ll have the link here to where they come up with their own action plan. Um, and this would be really helpful steps and- and- and that you could do with your child. Like if there was a bullying situation, sort of stepping through some steps with them, sort of the practicing, right?

[01:05:52] If this occurs, um, maybe we could do this. Um, you know, again, helping them to- [01:06:00] to understand and recognize the bullying, valuing it. But then what are some steps that would be good to practice if this has then has happened, then- then we could do this.

[01:06:13] So sometimes that really helps cuz when you’re in the thick of things, does anyone else have a hard time thinking? Especially when it’s a very emotional time, have a hard time thinking what to do or your next step should be, right? Uh, if you feel like trapped. Um, and so maybe this will help them so that they know the step that they need to take. Um, and this again encourages their self-advocacy.

[01:06:43] On the next one here, we’re gonna look at, um, again, the cyber bullying, set the cyber safety rules.

[01:06:50] Um, know what they’re doing online. Um, again, it’s, you know, there’s that, especially as they’re getting older, cuz you- you want them to grow into independent [01:07:00] young adults and everything. But there are, keeping in mind, there are some things I’m just gonna tell you, honestly, not until my child educated me on them, I had no clue.

[01:07:11] Um, and I’m like, you know, cuz here I am. I’m like, are- you’re kidding, right? And he is like, no. And so, you know, having those conversations, um, because you know, we may not know the terminology that they’re using too or what that could mean. Um, and that really plays a part. Um, has anyone else noticed that- that, has anyone else had those shock factors? As well as being a parent and when you’re working with children.

[01:07:45] My, uh, my son educates me (laughs) quite often. Yes, yes you do, Marla? Okay, thank you. Thank you for not letting me feel alone. (laughs) And, uh, but the great thing is- is we- we could talk about the different stuff. [01:08:00] Um, and that’s what I’m grateful for. My kids educate me daily. Absolutely, right? Um, (laughs) and look here, I thought I was supposed to be the responsible one.

[01:08:10] Um, I’m schooled daily by my nine and 14 year old. Yes. And then we all have to share with one another so that we keep one another up to date, right? Don’t tell our personal conversation with our kids. But if there’s some like app or like sign, they’ll use different words for. I know I sound old y’all, I know I really do. This is why you can’t ask me.

[01:08:34] They’ll use different words or like, I think they’re in code or whatever. Um, but we can help one another know what those mean. Um, but really having that connection and that support system is really gonna be helpful, too.

[01:08:48] On the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, an action if your child- to take if your child’s bullying. Of course, talking with your child, consider if first [01:09:00] ask yourself was the behavior, was the bullying, uh, disability-related, because that may be very important to know. Um, teach, you know, the empathy, respect, and compassion. So, um, this would be both ways, you know, if, um, so actions to take if your child is the bully is, you know, is it disability-related?

[01:09:24] Again, looking at how we may need to address that if they’re bullying related to their disability. Um, make the expectations clear. Provide clear, consistent consequences for the bullying. Teach by example. Um, again, the role playing, just like we could role play, um, with- with a child that’s been bullied. Or even if you haven’t been bullied, I think that would be a great thing to do, um, with everybody, with all the students, right?

[01:09:52] If this, um, sort of some things and some steps you could take. Providing the positive feedback, be [01:10:00] realistic and seek help. Um, many times, um, we may have no idea as a parent that our child would be the bully, right? Um, but we’ve gotta think of, that there’s got to be something.

[01:10:16] Again, remember, they’re- they’re getting something from it. What is it? And how do we get them what they need, but not through accomplishing it through bullying.

[01:10:29] Um, and sometimes that’s hard to figure out, and there’s probably a lot more things going on that the bullying is the end result, um, that may be taking place. And again, is it reactional bullying that we’ve talked about are- are they being reactional to what’s occurring to them and what they’re going through, um, where they may have been bullied themselves as well.

[01:10:52] On the next slide here, we’re gonna look at, you know, um, sort of again, the bystanders. I wanna give [01:11:00] you all an example. And this was home. Uh, my- my Sky, he was probably, I- I think he was at earlier elementary school. Well, this wasn’t even at school. We were going through, so, uh, my brother, Grant, mom and- and Sky were all going through the Arby’s drive-through, you know, how you pull up to the speaker and it was pretty much getting dark, um, pulling to the speaker and, you know, mom’s driving and- and she’s ordering.

[01:11:28] And I look over and there’s a playground at the church. I see, and it was already dark. I see two kids beating a child, like beating a child up. And at first I’m like, “Am I seeing what I’m seeing?” So I get myself out of the car and I go over there and I make ’em stop. And, I am like, you all need to back off.

[01:11:53] And they’re like, “Oh, no, no, no. You must have misunderstood. That wasn’t what was happening.” I’m like, “No, I know what I just [01:12:00] saw in y’all. I know what I just saw.” By that time, the adult come from behind the fence. There was an adult there, so that made me mad. I said, “Y’all better leave him alone.”

[01:12:12] And actually, they actually went to my son’s school. I said, “I’m not playing.” Um, and so, um, I’m not saying I always jump in and do exact, y’all, I jumped outta that car and it wasn’t in the- the best area that I- that I did that. So wasn’t thinking and my- my Sky, I didn’t think about this though too, cuz we got it- got it stopped and the kid got away. And, um, but the other two, you know, they- they knew that they had done wrong and that, yeah.

[01:12:45] So, but I was very disappointed. There was an adult that was right there with them that was letting that occur. So I was so mad, I just- I just gave them a look like, “Oh.” Um, so I go get in the car and so [01:13:00] Sky says, “So if I see that, is that what I’m supposed to do?” I’m like, “No, no, no, no. You don’t need to be the one to do that.”

[01:13:09] I’m thinking, “I would’ve never thought of this if he didn’t say it.” I said, “No, no, no. You need to tell an adult. Um, so an adult can take care of things.” And um, he says to me, he says, “Why do you always have to do the right thing?” (laughs) And I got- I got tickled. But I mean, that was a huge compliment. And you know, he’s thinking through stuff.

[01:13:33] Um, not that he wouldn’t do that for someone, cuz his first thought was, “Okay, so if I see that I need to do that.” So if he had not said that, then he would’ve took it upon himself to have done that. And we don’t want children to do that.

[01:13:47] But how we can help one another is telling the adult, is having our children- having those adults that will speak up in situations when they see that something is [01:14:00] not going right and when they’re aware of it, that we build an atmosphere to where the adults play a positive role in things, but then also with the peers.

[01:14:10] Because on this, I mean, you look at the chart, you see that if someone had someone who spent time with them, they were much less likely that things got better for them. Who had experienced bullying if- if someone talked to them. Um, you know, there was direct correlation, too. If there were peers who were doing these things, it was less likely. And it actually helped things much better.

[01:14:41] So bystanders are a critical role. Um, again, we wanna be very clear that it is not other students’ responsibility to take care of the matter, and I think that is very important, but being that support positive, that podis- positive behavioral [01:15:00] environment of what’s acceptable and not, and how we treat one another is going to help foster that.

[01:15:07] When we look here on the next slide, did anyone else get tickled that my son said, “Why do you always have to do the right thing?” Because I- I kind of did, but I took that as such a huge compliment (laughs) , but I don’t know that he meant it that way. (laughs)

[01:15:22] On the next slide here- are y’all just about tired of listening to me? (laughs)

[01:15:27] We’re going to the role of the bystander. Uh, we’re gonna watch this short video.

[01:15:33] Kevin Jennings: The main thing I’d want teenagers to know about bullying is a lot of people will tell you there’s nothing you can do to stop it. They are lying to you. Studies show that when a peer intervenes, when they see one of their friends getting bullied, in 57% of the cases, the bullying stops in less than 10 seconds.

[01:15:52] So anyone who tells you there’s nothing you could do about it and you can’t make a difference, they’re flat out wrong. And we’ve all had times in our life [01:16:00] when we felt very alone and like nobody cared about us. And we really remember the person who came through for us at those times.

[01:16:07] You’ve got a chance to be that person for somebody who is probably very scared, maybe even terrified, who may go home and even end their own life. Be that kind of friend to someone.

[01:16:23] Rhonda Logsdon: And that I think that’s so important. Uh, you know, in how we- we see where we all play a role, and even us as adults, when we see it in the workforce, when we see it socially. Like I- I mean y’all, you can go out to the store and you could see somebody bully somebody. Um, but creating that- accept that environment where it’s not acceptable, I think, um, is- is really important.

[01:16:49] You know, there are, it could be, again, we talked about like the civil rights issue, like, um, and there are some specific, the Dear Colleague letters that address that is from the [01:17:00] Office of Civil Rights, that bullying could be considered harassment when it’s based on a student’s race, color, national origin, sex, or disability. So it could be harassment too under that.

[01:17:16] And so on the next slide here, and it- it’s just important to know that these things, um, that there are these things and these laws in place so that we can, you know, hopefully you would not have to- to access that to get the resolve. But, um, know that bullying can be considered harassment in a civil rights issue.

[01:17:40] On the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, one of- hold on just a second.

[01:17:57] Sorry, we’re having a little bit of computer, um, [01:18:00] issues here. Just thank- thank you so much.

[01:18:03] Um, you know, the numbers, the- there’s, you know, the federal laws, the school’s duties knowing, um, the procedures you can use. And one of the things I wanna talk about here is we had mentioned about, especially for children who have I E Ps in school, or 5 0 4 plans, it may be that you can- here on the next slide, I believe is the one, um, that we are looking at.

[01:18:33] Sorry, we’ve got a little bit of delay that’s occurring.

[01:18:47] Just bear with me just a moment here.

[01:18:50] So, the civil rights issue, you know, the- the behaviors, it could be again, the verbal, uh, name calling, uh, slurs. Tho- [01:19:00] those are, you know, um, graphic or written statements, threats, physical assault, other conduct. Um, and again, there may also be the additional state and local laws, um, that- that bullying may also, um, involve as well.

[01:19:19] Um, and when we look here on the next slide, we’re gonna see, um, okay, so, uh, we’ve got an error in the thing. If we’ll go to the next one here, just a second.

[01:19:36] Um, when we look at, um, the- the number of- of students, um, the children who have disabilities who are bullied, um, they are much higher than those who do not have disabilities. Um, in, and- and many times the disability, you know, that is something a [01:20:00] lot of times that people will target specifically, uh, and multiple times, and especially if they’re seeing it occurring for one child. And they may know the disability.

[01:20:10] Other children, it could also occur siblings within it. Um, there were many times, um, that as a sibling, um, that you would experience that and it be, um, towards the sibling because of the disability that the- that their sibling has. Um, so it may not be directly to the- to the child that actually has the disability, but- but it could be because of the disability within the family that I also- well, we’ve had that occur and we saw that occur.

[01:20:47] Um, there are a lot of, um, where two or three times more likely to be bullied than their non-disabled peers. And again, I’m sure that there’re even [01:21:00] stronger numbers. You know, people now that the pe- more people are recognizing it and addressing it, um, I think that it’s gonna help make things better.

[01:21:08] When we look here on the next slide, we’re gonna see some, um, another, you know, there’s been several of the Dear Colleagues. This was specifically through with the Office of Special Education and Civil Rights, um, through, uh, through the US Department of Education is under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, uh, which calls for the I E Ps in school that students under that, um, who are eligible with a disability, it could be under there, considered a denial of FAPE,, um, based on the disability harassment that they received.

[01:21:48] So when we look here on the next one, we’re gonna see, um, parts Section 5 0 4, um, not just if your child has a 5 0 4 plan, but if your child has an I E P, [01:22:00] they also are covered by 5 0 4 and under that law is that if the harassment denies the student with a disability the equal opportunity to the education, it interferes, um, then it could also fall under that.

[01:22:16] And again, A D A, the Americans with Disabilities Act, these are protections for persons with disabilities, um, to have a record of a disability or regarding as having a disability. Um, and so those are some very, um, important protections that are there for students.

[01:22:38] On the next slide here- and not just students, 5 0 4 and A DA , that’s in the workforce. Um, that also covers- it’s not just for school-aged children. The school’s duty is immediate and appropriate action to investigate it. The templates that you use to notify the school. Um, making sure that it’s [01:23:00] investigated, but also see what the investigation, um, reveals, you know, so that there is- we can create to eliminate this environment, right?

[01:23:11] So it’s not just enough we investigate it, it happened, but if we don’t address it, then the likelihood that it will occur again is very high. Um, and in looking at too, what does the child that was bullied, what might be some services and supports that they need? Just because be- with the fact that they were bullied.

[01:23:38] And again, too, what do we need to do for the- the child that was bullying? Yes, holding accountable. But what is going on that that is what they feel is appropriate to handle different situations, um, or appropriate behavior, which it’s not.

[01:23:56] Um, when we go on the next, um, [01:24:00] slide here, we’re gonna see, you know, using the template again. We showed the template there. You could use it if the child’s on I E P or section 5 0 4. Even if they’re not, um, if they don’t have either one of those in place, the 5 0 4, if- if they are perceived as having or has had a- a disability, it could be, even if they haven’t put the 5 0 4 in place, that they would be covered by 5 0 4 and A D A.

[01:24:27] Um, and it would be important to, well, first it’s important to notify the school whether they have the I E P and or the 5 0 4 plan. Um, but specifically too that you may want to address in the I E P or 5 0 4 plan services to support, so the child that was bullied needs. Now, if it’s a child who was bullying and they also have an I E P or 5 0 4, it probably would be important, well, it would be important to have a meeting to update to see what- what can [01:25:00] we put in place. Um, so especially if it was related specifically due to their disability, right?

[01:25:09] Um, now on the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, when we use the I E P, we can look at, and again, think of this too, if your child’s on a 5 0 4, identifying the strategies that could, uh, be in there, they help just to stop bullying, but also, you know, especially if it’s the child, uh, who’s bullying to stop the bullying, what may be some of the behavioral supports that they need in place, appropriate ways to handle it.

[01:25:39] If it’s a child that’s being bullied, what might be some- some things that would help first so that they have a way to handle it when it occurs, right? Um, but also too what might be some socialization things that could help and building that peer support, [01:26:00] um, with one another. Um, because again, remember back, the more you know things got better for them when they had someone to talk to. When- when they had that peer support, um, when they had friends.

[01:26:18] So what are, maybe if they don’t have a lot of friends, how can we look at, because again, the- them being bullied is not their fault, but how can we maybe help to build that peer support under their social and emotional part of their I E P that would help foster some of those skills and some of those friendships that would help to reduce that. Does that make sense?

[01:26:45] Um, and again, to involve the child, this is their life. It’s important that they be a part of it. Cuz what we think might work for them, they’re gonna be like, “No”. And especially when you’re talking about stuff where it has to do with the bullying and the social [01:27:00] aspects. The children need to tell you what would help them. Because first of all, and what they’re comfortable with, especially if you’ve been bullied, there are certain things you’re not gonna be comfortable with and not.

[01:27:15] Many times we tend to decide things for children because we think we know best. Right? Um, but again, we need to take into account only they know exactly how it made them feel or what would help them. We can help ’em with suggestions, and I’m not saying not be a part of that, but it’s critical that they be the center of it and use those self-advocacy skills to help and to build those things as well.

[01:27:44] On the next slide here, you’re gonna see- and I know we’re getting close on time. You can file a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights of the Department of Justice. Um, and- and there are templates that you can get for that. Hopefully you would not have to go to- [01:28:00] to that level, but know that if it, um, was a part of civil rights being violated, um, that you do have those options available.

[01:28:11] Um, but I think really reporting it to the school and documenting it, but then also working in partnership to come up with a plan that is gonna help and how to get what they need. Um, it is really gonna be critical in helping to resolve it so that it doesn’t occur anymore and it addresses what did occur, right?

[01:28:33] Um, because it’s not that we don’t wanna hold children accountable for their actions because we do, right? But what are the things that can be done, um, to really help with that?

[01:28:46] On the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, you know, again, you can with Office of Civil Rights, or if a child who has an I E P, it could be a denial of FAPE under their I E P.

[01:28:57] If, um, it was a part [01:29:00] of, um, again, it would be very specific, but there are avenues and complaints that you can file if you feel that, um, that- that your child’s rights, um, have been violated. And again, very specific for- for children and youth with disabilities. Um, again, and those are things that we can help connect you if those- that’s what’s occurring so they have to step through the process. Um, if some of that is occurring.

[01:29:31] Um, on the next slide here, we’re gonna see, um, the peer advocacy. I mean, again, uh, one of the things that they’re gonna share here on the next video is the initiative designed to reduce bullying as students with disabilities. Again, by engaging, educating, and empowering, right?

[01:29:48] This is where all of us, we share our gifts. Um, all children are smart, all children, regardless if they have a disability or not, or the severity of their [01:30:00] disability, it doesn’t matter. We all have wonderful things to give and to bring to the table and how we create that atmosphere. Um, it is really gonna set the stage for all of our children because it’s not just important for children with disabilities.

[01:30:16] It’s important for other, for, uh, non-disabled peers as well, because they need to, um, we all live in- gonna- we live in the same world, right? And- and what makes us so wonderful and unique is that we all have different experiences. We all have different characteristics. So really fostering that, peer advocacy, I think will do wonders to really help, um, with bullying prevention.

[01:30:43] I think on the next one here is the video we’re gonna watch. Here are some of the young ones.

[01:30:55] Stephen (Student): Hey, my name is Stephen, and I’m a peer advocate.

[01:30:58] Abby (Student): Hi, I’m Abby, [01:31:00] and I’m also a peer advocate.

[01:31:02] Students (Group): We’re all peer advocates. (ubeat music begins to play)

[01:31:04] Student (Girl): Peer advocacy is about speaking out for others.

[01:31:07] It’s about seeing people in a new way.

[01:31:09] Hope (Student): I am Hope.

[01:31:12] Student (Girl): It’s about treating people with respect even if they’re different.

[01:31:15] Student (Boy): This is David.

[01:31:17] Student (Girl): It is about realizing that not everyone is included.

[01:31:20] Student (Boy): This is Kyle.

[01:31:22] It’s about speaking out against bullying.

[01:31:24] Student (Girl): David and Hope are in special education class.

[01:31:27] Student (Boy): We know who they are, but never had a chance to hang out with them. They used to sit by themselves at lunch.

[01:31:33] Student (Girl): At school assemblies, they never sat with the rest of us. We also saw that they weren’t always included in activities.

[01:31:39] Stephen (Student): That was how it used to be.

[01:31:41] Abby (Student): That was before we had the Peer Advocacy Project.

[01:31:44] Student (Girl): Now we know what to do if somebody’s being teased or made fun of.

[01:31:48] We’ve had the chance to get to know each other-

[01:31:51] And we know that we’re not so different.

[01:31:53] And now we sit together at lunch and school assemblies-

[01:31:56] Student (Boy): And give high fives in the hallway. High [01:32:00] five!

[01:32:01] Hope (Student): It’s cool. I love [having] more friends.

[01:32:07] Student (Girl): And our friends want to hang out, too.

[01:32:09] We helped change from the experience.

[01:32:12] Hope and David are more talkative, more outgoing, and seem happier.

[01:32:16] Together we found out that our actions are powerful.

[01:32:20] We learned that we can do something about bullying.

[01:32:23] We know that reaching out to someone can make the world a better place.

[01:32:28] We think all schools should have peer advocates.

[01:32:31] Student (Boy): It’s easy. It makes you feel good, and it makes a difference.

[01:32:37] Student (Girl): Together we are doing something about bullying.

[01:32:41] Student (Boy): So what are you waiting for?

[01:32:43] Student (Girl): So what are you waiting for?

[01:32:44] So what are you waiting for?

[01:32:47] Hope (Student): So what are you waiting for?

[01:32:55] (music continues to play)

[01:32:55] Student (Girl): I am a peer advocate.

[01:32:57] I’m a peer advocate.[01:33:00]

[01:33:03] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:04] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:05] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:11] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:13] Student (Boy): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:21] Student (Girl): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:23] Hope (Student): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:25] Student (Boy): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:32] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:33] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:37] (student laughter)

[01:33:37] Student (Girl): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:39] Student (Boy): I’m a peer advocate. (music continues playing)

[01:33:47] Student (Girl): I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:49] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:50] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:33:51] Student (Boy): I’m a peer advocate. (music continues playing) [01:34:00]

[01:34:00] Students (Group): We’re your peer advocates.

[01:34:02] Student (Girl): I’m a peer advocate. (music continues playing)

[01:34:09] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:34:11] I’m a peer advocate.

[01:34:13] Students (Group): We’re peer advocates.

[01:34:14] We’re peer advocates. (music continues playing)

[01:34:33] Rhonda Logsdon: Well, and on the next slide here, cuz I know that we are, um, that we’re getting- (laughs) we’ve already went over the time, so I do apologize. But you’ll see on the next few slides that there are links to tons of helpful, um, the, um, links to a lot of different resources for teachers, for parents, for students [01:35:00] themselves.

[01:35:00] Um, and if you all don’t mind, we’re sharing in the, um, chat right now. I hope this was helpful. Does anyone have any questions? Um, and if you don’t mind to, uh, to take a moment to fill out our survey, we greatly appreciate your feedback. Um, is there anything that stood out to you that you’d like to share or do you have any questions, um, that you all would like to ask?

[01:35:32] And the link I just shared, um, is, uh, in the chat is for our survey. Um, was this helpful to y’all?

[01:35:46] Marla Harris: Rhonda, this is Marla. Can you hear me?

[01:35:50] Rhonda Logsdon: Yes.

[01:35:50] Marla Harris: Oh, okay.

[01:35:51] Rhonda Logsdon: Yes, please.

[01:35:51] Marla Harris: Just making sure. Just making sure. Um, I just wanna say, um, it was great information. Um, and I would like to know if there’s gonna be a link [01:36:00] to the recorded training that we can share with people that weren’t able to attend today.

[01:36:07] Rhonda Logsdon: Yes. Actually I have to get- we have to get that cuz we- it is being recorded. We do have to get that accurately closed caption before it’s on our YouTube, but as soon as it is, uh, we will share that with you and it’ll be on our YouTube channel, our website, and through our e-news.

[01:36:24] So if you all aren’t, um, connected with our e-news, we all- always share those as well through that. So it will, but now it’s gonna take a little bit to get it closed caption.

[01:36:35] Marla Harris: Okay.

[01:36:35] Rhonda Logsdon: So it won’t be like tomorrow or next week. (laughs)

[01:36:39] Marla Harris: Gotcha. Thank you so much.

[01:36:41] Rhonda Logsdon: Oh, thank you. “Yes, it was helpful.” Oh, thank you. Well, and y’all let us know how we can help, um, and reach out. We’ve got some awesome upcoming events. I’ll actually make sure it’s included in the follow-up email you’ll get tomorrow. Um, we’ve got several different trainings that are coming [01:37:00] up specific for special education, um, and I’ll make sure that I put those in there.

[01:37:05] But thank you all so much for joining us and we greatly appreciate you. Y’all have a great day now, okay.

[01:37:15] Marla Harris: Thanks Rhonda.

[01:37:18] Rhonda Logsdon: Oh, thank you.