Communication Tips

Stella: Well, hey everybody, it’s Stella with Kentucky SPIN. I just wanted to take a few minutes and talk to you a little bit today about communication and the key to success. And I want to give you my top five communication tips that have really helped me along my journey, and I think will help you. [00:00:21] So number one, be intentional and be real with people. That is so important nowadays. And to do things with purpose, don’t just communicate with somebody and not have a reason. Be sure that you do it intentionally and with purpose. And also, you know, don’t be fake about your communication with folks. Be real, be honest, be transparent. I think that is real, real important. [00:00:49] The other thing is listen, more than you speak. I believe that is probably a key to a lot of our communication problems. We tend to jump right in and start talking before we’ve listened and figure out maybe what the other person is trying to communicate to you. And sometimes we only talk about ourselves. You know I used to have a friend, a long time ago, that I’m not very close with now, but when we were really close, I realized I knew nothing about her because I was the one who always did all the talking. [00:01:22] So listen, more than you speak. We have two ears for a reason and one mouth. So remember that. [00:01:29] The third one is practice patience. Allow others to speak and listen to their needs above yours. I think that really helps to have successful communication with people is when we begin to listen more than we speak. [00:01:44] The fourth one is watch your body language, because that says a whole lot about if you’re listening intently or if you’re preoccupied. If you’re texting and on your phone, someone else is not going to think you’re listening to them and they may be offended by that. So remember that. [00:02:02] And then the fifth thing is stop complaining. Find a place to meet in the middle with whoever you’re communicating with and don’t get in a big argument. And no one really wants to be around a Debbie downer all the time. So be sure that you keep your focus positive and that you stay connected with people in your communication. I think those are just really, really key. [00:02:24] So again, number one was be intentional about your communication. Number two, listen more than you speak. Number three, practice patience. Number four, watch your body language. And number five, stop complaining, be positive in what you’re doing right now, no matter what the outcome to everything that we’re going through right now, is it it’s not going to be forever. There will be a finish to this and we want to make sure that we’ve communicated things correctly and purposefully. [00:02:56] So I hope you all enjoy this beautiful day. I’m sitting out on my dock right now, and it’s absolutely fabulous. Remember, we’re here at Kentucky SPIN to help you any way that we can. So please reach out to us at www.kyspin.com. Have a great day. [00:03:17] Kellie: Hey guys, it’s Kellie with Kentucky SPIN. I wanted to talk to you for minute about communication. Communication, especially when dealing with advocacy is so very important. It’s actually critical to the success of the individual that you’re advocating for or the cause that you’re advocating for. [00:03:39] Some things that I’ve learned about communication is to not storm in acting like a fool, first and foremost. Learned quickly that showing myself would get me nowhere. I also know a lot of you have probably learned the same thing. The most important part of communicating, with those, especially who may be have some power over a situation, is working together collaboratively to come to a mutual understanding for each other and the different roles that you play. [00:04:15] I have a few stories, I’m not going to share them on here for time’s sake. If you ever come to one of our communication workshops, you’ll hear those stories. Where I really had to walk away from a bad situation where we weren’t communicating at all. And the outcome was not what I wanted. And then I had to go back and I had to apologize. And that’s really hard to do sometimes, especially when you have such strong feelings about the situation you’re advocating for, or the person you’re advocating for. So first and foremost, don’t show yourself. [00:04:49] Secondly, I highly recommend, that if a situation gets emotional or out of control, don’t be afraid to walk away. I can’t remember how many times I left a meeting that was so very important. I left the meeting and would pull over on the side of the road and cry. Or would, you know, think, man, I should’ve said this or I should’ve done that, or I wish I’d asked this question. But I was just too out of sorts during the time to do it. So don’t be afraid to walk away if needed. [00:05:25] Those are the most important things that I have to leave with you. If you have any other questions about how to communicate collaboratively with those who maybe have some power over some situations, please do not hesitate to reach out to Kentucky SPIN. I hope y’all are having a great day and I’ll talk to you soon. [00:05:43] Michaela: Hey, y’all, it’s Michaela Evans with Kentucky SPIN. Today, we’re talking about communication and I am a very nonconfrontational person. I’m also kind of shy and quiet around people that I don’t know very well and very reserved. So I have jotted down just a few tips that helped me in ARC meetings or communicating, in general when it comes to advocating for my child. [00:06:10] One thing I do is I try to remain non-biased. And that’s really important, I feel like it helps to focus on the problem and not the person. I just try to keep in mind that these people are just trying to do their job and doing what they think is right, or what they’ve been told to do. And so it’s not me against them, it’s all of us together against the problem. And we try to work together to find a solution. And I have found that, that helps. [00:06:39] I also tend to get very emotional when I’m advocating for my child. So I get flustered and lose my train of thought. It’s really hard for me to stay focused. So what I do and what I tell all my parents that I work with to do, is to make a list of concerns ahead of time and bring them with you to a meeting and check off your list as you go and make sure that you do address everything. [00:07:05] It helps you to kind of regain that train of thought when you lose it. Bring everything back into focus on where it’s supposed to be on what the concern is. And to communicate more clearly. Also if it’s an ARC meeting, make sure that everything is documented in that conference summary. I also refer back to my checklist one more time and make sure that all of my concerns are accurately documented before leaving the meeting. [00:07:32]One thing that’s helpful too, cause I always find something that I forgot during the meeting. I send a follow up email and just make sure that everything’s reiterated again. That way you have it in writing. And, also it helps kinda to keep a list of incidents or any kind of requests that you might have in writing as well. [00:07:52]And it helps to stop and think about it beforehand because when you’re writing an email, if you lose your cool or find yourself losing your cool, you can regroup and it’s not too late. It helps to kind of have that time to focus on what you want to say and not let the emotions get in the way. [00:08:11] Also I think email is the greatest tool that we can use as parents and even as professionals. You want, because it keeps that ongoing record of communication. And it also has a time and date stamp on everything that is sent. And it’s easily able to be pulled up for reference and easily accessible. It also helps to keep communication on the other end professional, when you’re discussing a matter that maybe was previously a heated debate or feelings are flying high, you’re going to get a more professional response and that emotional response from the other party as well. [00:08:46] So those are just a few tips, that have helped me, when communicating with others, when it comes to advocating for my child and I hope they help you as well. Hey, [00:08:56] Rhonda: I hope y’all are doing well, it’s Rhonda with Kentucky SPIN. We’re going to talk a little bit about communication and I’ll share some things that have really helped me. [00:09:05] Because our nonverbal communication is just as important as our verbal, and this definitely applies to me because, my mom will tell you, I am definitely not a poker player. It is all over my face, as I am taking things in. I’m very honest, not that everyone else isn’t, but you actually can read it too. So you have to be very mindful of, you know, cause a lot of times the reaction may not exactly be what you’re feeling or what you’re going through, or as you’re taking information in. [00:09:40] So really having to work on that. That’s an area I have to really make sure that I pay attention to. I don’t know that I’ve made huge strides, but I’ve been working on it. And there’s all areas that we all find ourself, we have to work to build that good communication skills. Because that is so critical for ourselves, if we have a disability ourselves or our children, our family members, anyone that we’re advocating for. In work, within family, social settings good communication is what’s going to set the stage for your success and really sort of build those partnerships. [00:10:23] The four of the things, tips that I wanted to share, my coworker said that really helped her, is be open minded. Don’t let things cloud your judgment. And that’s very hard and something we all do have to work on. And don’t shut down. I also have to remind myself about this because I just, you know, I sometimes will just come to a halt and be okay. Step back. Sometimes you do need to do then step back and really kind of step through things, but don’t stay back. Because that is going to damage communication and partnership with others. [00:11:02] Share ideas. It’s very important to share things, that, with one another. Because it’s not a competition. It’s not. It is how can we complement one another? It’s one of the great things that I love about working here at SPIN, is we’re not competing with one another. We complement one another very well. We have different expertise in different areas. [00:11:28] So look at it in that way, about communication with others, whether it be in your work, advocating for your child or within social, family, friends, look at it and just how we complement one another, that will frame things in a whole other way for you when you are looking at communication. [00:11:46] And don’t judge, it’s very hard not to because we are human. But we don’t know what anyone else, whether you are a parent, a teacher, a professional, we don’t know the road that anyone else has taken or is in the process of taking. So always remind yourself that we need to kind of leave judgment at the door. Because that can hinder good communication. [00:12:13] So we hope these tips have helped and you all take care and I hope you all are safe and have a great day. Thanks so much. Bye bye. [00:12:21] Ian: What’s up guys. It’s Ian here with Kentucky SPIN and today’s topic is communication. And what are my top five tips? My first [00:12:29] tip is listening. I know it sounds simple, but listening is so important. We can often times miss things. Or sometimes get the answer to a question we have, if we just waited just a couple more seconds to listen in. Also, I think listening shows respect and typically helps the conversation flow better just by listening. There are some people that I interact with on a daily basis that are often not listened to. So just listening, is starting off listening, sets the conversation off right. [00:13:02] Another tip that I have is ask for clarification. I do this a lot because I’m constantly receiving information and I want to make sure that I’m hearing things correctly and I’m not taking anything out of context and I’m not taking anything the wrong way. So if I have a question about something I’ll always ask, Hey, when you said X, did you mean this? And I allow them to clear that up. Or I allow them to confirm. [00:13:30] And that helps me to know a couple of things, one helps me know I received the right information. Two, if there was something I was supposed to do, like an action, some sort of action I’m supposed to take like follow up or write something or do something. I can take that away from the clarification that I received. So I’m very big on asking for clarification. [00:13:50] Third, I would say document. Depending on the conversation, it’s really important to try to have documentation of what was said, who said what, what time it was, what day it was. And the reason why I say depending on the conversation, because if you’re asking for something, or if you need proof that you reached out to somebody at a certain time, you want to make sure that you have proof of that, you have documentation of that. Especially when it comes to advocating for yourself, advocating for a change, advocating for a specific service or something like that, along those lines. But just the general, it’s helpful to just save the email, archive the email screenshot date and time, screenshot the email, whatever’s convenient for you to try to just keep record of that. And even if it’s just a reminder to remind yourself, Oh, I did reach out to them on such and such a day at such and such time. That’s always helpful to have. [00:14:41] Fourth, I would say, think of your approach. So if you’re contacting a business person or entity, you want to have a business like approach. So when I talk to businesses and stuff, depending on what the ask is or what the conversation is about, I want to have everything official. So, you know, I announced myself with my name, my full name if possible. I’m very quick, up to the point. And I make it clear what the ask is or what the conversation is about very early on, because when you’re dealing with business, people want to, they don’t want to, you know, speak on the phone a long time or whatever, whatever method of conversation it is. Even if you’re meeting in person, they may have to go to another meeting or whatever. So if you’re dealing with, you know, a legislator, a law maker, a business person, you want to keep the conversation short and to the point so they can quickly see in a couple sentences, if it’s like an email format, they can quickly see what the conversation is about, what the ask is, or what’s going on with it. [00:15:42] If you’re approaching like just a parcel person, then that’s different, right? You can be more conversational. You can add more to the story. And also when you think, when you’re thinking about approach, you may want to let the person or the other end, right, kind of dictate how you approach. So you could call someone and this is just, is just not even a categorical call. This is just anybody. If you call someone or you’re beat with them and they’re like, Hey, I only got like five minutes then cool, you know, you need to have like bullet point information to be able to get there really quick and let them know something. If it’s like you call them, and it’s like, yeah, I really want to know more about this. You know, you can have a little bit more conversation to explain something to them and have a little bit longer of a conversation. So that’s just something I will keep in mind when you’re dealing with either personal or professional contacts. [00:16:37] Fifth. I think my communication tip is to thank people for the conversation. Whether it’s by letter email, whether it’s by in person or whatever the case is, let people know you really appreciate them and it comes from a genuine place. So if that’s reaching out again and sometimes with that, thanking them for, you know, if it’s a call, thank you for answering and talking to me about this. Or thank you for meeting with me, whatever the case is. I also try to tie, try to tie in with that debriefing. So if it was a long conversation or something like that, or if there was a lot of checklist stuff like you were going to do this, and I was going to do that, like just kind of debriefing with them, which is also another form of clarification. [00:17:19] So, if you’ve already asked for clarification, you may not want to be redundant in doing that, but sometimes debriefing helps to just be like, man, I’m really glad we covered this, this and this. And now I think moving forward, this, this, this. So you could even throw next steps in there, depending on whatever the conversation is about. [00:17:35] So this is Ian with Kentucky SPIN and I hope those tips were helpful. Hopefully those things can help you have better conversations, more effective conversations and conversations that get you closer to whatever the goal of it is. All right, until next time, peace.