KY-SPIN Stress and Trauma

Rhonda: [00:00:00] Hi, hope y’all are doing well. I’m Rhonda Logsdon with Kentucky SPIN.

Grant: [00:00:05] I’m Grant Logsdon, we are here to talk about stress

Rhonda: [00:00:20] Stress. Now don’t let it stress you out that we’re going to talk about stress. Okay.

We’ve learned in our life too, though, that you have to keep a sense of humor through everything, especially when you’re dealing with stress, right.

Grant: [00:00:35] Anytime, especially  during this time, you have to also,

 I suggest if you’re feeling stressed take like two deep breaths or whatever works for you. Count to 10, you know, then think about what you’re doing good.

Sometimes we think about we didn’t do this x, y and z. But we also need to think about what we are doing right.

We have to be proud of the little steps that we make. Those steps are not little. Those little steps build on the big steps.

Rhonda: [00:02:09] Well it’s  important too, especially now, because it, you know, really looking at, because if you look at the whole big picture, and I have a really hard time with that because I see the whole big picture. And like what Grant was saying, that it’s, you know, not concentrating on what you didn’t get done or you didn’t do. But really looking at and being proud of what you have accomplished. Because I do find, I have to sort of do check-ins with myself, have self-pep talks to where I’m like, okay, Rhonda, you need to just stop and, okay, what were you able to do today? Because in my mind, it’s sort of, always replays everything I didn’t get accomplished. Everything I’ve got to do and it’s this, constant, you know, like reel of tape that’s going on in my mind and I do have to stop myself. And Grant helps me a lot with that. Really looking at it and appreciating the little things I accomplished because I always see the things I didn’t get done.

 Or especially what we’re dealing with now with, the Coronavirus. Everything that we have no control over, is really concentrating on those things that we can make a difference and that we have control with. And especially, you know, taking those moments. because it’s so important. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health, even more so right now. We’re all dealing with a different time that we’ve never had before. And I know we’ve said that a lot, but it’s very true.

And you know, our lives as families is, it can be very overwhelming on a daily basis. Even when you’re not considering the Coronavirus.  And the dangers that are associated with that. And the health and well-being of the people that you love, your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, the people that you’ve never met. It can be very overwhelming, but taking those steps.

Grant: [00:04:40] I have a good suggestion for you guys. When you feel stressed at the things you didn’t do, let this video, ask your family to tell you like 5 things that they see you do good. Because I’m willing to bet the things that you think are important might not even be important to your family.  So let this video be…

Rhonda: [00:05:38] The start of that being part of the things that helps you handle stress. That’s a great tip Grant.

Grant: [00:05:56] Let this be an open door to sit down at the dinner table or wherever you choose to do it, have them tell you 5 things or however many they feel you’re doing good. I bet you, I bet you what you feel is important isn’t what they are going to think.

I’m opening up here, the things my sister thinks are important

isn’t the things I think are important to the family. So that’s the reason  I’m having this idea, it will create dialogue with your family, so you are not in this alone.

Rhonda: [00:07:32] One of the things that I worry about not doing right is probably going to be some of the things that I’ve found that you’ve said to me, Grant, when we’ve had those conversations, is that he thinks that those are the things I do good at. You know, and those are the things that I’m so critical of myself about.

And that, that Grant’s helped me with and being able to talk to someone, being able to share that. You know, and the great thing of not feeling that you’re being judged. One of the things too, cause I know, you know, Grant, we obviously have a great sense of humor between us, but the thing is too, is that Grant,  I’m not the one that goes out very much.

I never have been. So that part of this, hasn’t bothered me, but Grant’s always the one that’s always out and about and doing all kinds of things. And so that has been a huge shift that you’ve had to get used to. Right? Because I mean, you know,  and he always, I guess I’ll share with you, he always calls me Goober Granny.

I said it

Grant: [00:08:33] [laughing]

Rhonda: [00:08:34] But, he does. But that’s what he calls me because he says, I don’t get out. I don’t do different things. So what everybody typically thinks would be his life, is my life.

 It’s true. But the thing is, is people don’t realize, they make assumptions about people. And of course, Grant and I never have fit into the typical box that anybody would like to put us in.

Right Grant? So, but tell everybody what’s some of the things, how have you helped? Because you’re used to go when all the time doing things, he’s out and about and going in and enjoying different things. What have you done that that’s helped you?

Grant: [00:09:17] I’m really good at creating ideas in my mind, so I still create the ideas, I still implement the ideas to the degree that I can. But I make a list of ideas of what I want to do when I can. I listen to music, I’ve talked with my job coach through facetime, I’ve done some art.

Rhonda: [00:09:48] And getting outside that has really helped, I think all of us. Don’t you?

Grant: [00:10:39] Yeah, I have talked to my trainer, workout trainer through facetime. So there’s ways you can do things, there’s different ways.

Rhonda: [00:10:57] But you still can do something. One of the things too, depending upon, different things you’ve experienced in your life, that is going to affect how you handle the Coronavirus and everything associated with it. If you’ve experienced any type of trauma, regardless of the level that is.

That affects you on a daily basis, much less when we’re all going through this with the Coronavirus. One thing too, that I know, is that sometimes we don’t understand why we feel the way we do. There may have been trauma that you experienced early on in your life. And I’ve learned to listen to those things.

I may not completely understand them, but different things that I’ve been through and others that have shared with me, is we have those feelings for a reason. And our children are no different. And right now, especially, to keep those things in mind because different traumas that you may have experienced are going to play a huge role in working through this. To get, you know, as we all go through this together, but really coping with it.

Because depending upon, you know, the wonderful thing about all of us is we all bring so much richness, and different beliefs and different backgrounds. But that also too can be very challenging and to make sure that we’re all very aware that everybody that we’re encountering may have experienced different things.

So keeping that in mind, and really when you’re talking about the stress that’s going to impact a lot of how you handle different things.

Grant: [00:12:56] And people who have experienced trauma they need our understanding, love and compassion.

Rhonda: [00:13:01] Yes.

And really being aware of how what we do affects others  and just having an open heart. I think that more importantly in and an acknowledgement that, you know, we’re all in this together and we all do bring different things. And we’re all going to handle stress differently.

Grant: [00:13:22] Anytime especially during this time and when people wants to share different things, it doesn’t matter when it is, it could be at midnight or two in the morning. If people are willing to share different things with you, you have to be compassionate and have an open heart and you shouldn’t judge anyone.

Rhonda: [00:14:08] Yeah, and a lot of times, and especially, you know, so that, no one should feel alone. Even if we’ve not met one another in person, know that we send our love and that we send our acceptance. And one thing that’s helped me is, you know, and Grant does this a lot and is very, he should probably be being paid for being my therapist, but he doesn’t. But he, always has an open mind and an open heart.

And I think if we just remind ourselves of that and if someone needs to talk, please find someone. There’s always someone, and I want to make sure that everybody realizes that everybody matters and everybody is important and that we are going to be able to make this, make it through this together. And I don’t want you to feel alone or overwhelmed by everything that’s going on.

I know it’s hard not to.

Grant: [00:15:10] And it’s, if you feel you need a therapist there is nothing wrong with that. You have to do whatever you feel is right for you.

Rhonda: [00:15:40] Yeah.

And, there’s nothing braver than seeking that help. And seeking someone to speak with. And knowing that, that you’re not alone. And we send you love, from our hearts to yours and, we’ll probably be doing some other videos and everything. But that’s just a little bit about kind of what we’ve been doing and what’s been on our minds , regarding the stress. And again, it’s just as important for our mental health as it is for our physical health. So with love and peace, we hope this message finds you well, and we will talk to you again soon. Won’t we Grant?

Grant: [00:16:18] Yes.

Rhonda: [00:16:18] Bye y’all.